Who Are You “Whos?”
Most of us live in how mode.
We immediately jump to…
How can I achieve this?
How can I get it all done?
How can I solve this problem?
But what if the better question isn’t how—it’s who?
We love to glorify effort.
The grind. The late nights. The “I’ll figure it out myself” energy.
But effort isn’t the win, results are.
And sometimes, results don’t come from working harder. They come from asking a better question:
👉 Who can help me make this happen?
AND even better, who can do it quicker, more brilliantly, with less stress, or with more expertise and further reach than I have?
It may sound obvious, but when diving into the book Who Not How by Dan Sullivan, you realize just how often we all default to the how. It’s how we were raised, taught, and rewarded. For other type A, self-sufficient, ambitious souls out there, that instinct runs even deeper. But learning to pause and ask who before leaping into how has made a huge impact on my life.
A perfect example of the Who Not How principle in action? Dan Sullivan himself. He didn’t even write his book. Not a single word.
He found his “Who,” the 9x bestselling author and organizational psychologist Dr. Benjamin Hardy, to do it for him. Writing it himself wasn’t the best use of his time, talents, or energy.
Yet Dan still achieved his goal: to share this concept with the world. They are both published authors of the book. His message spread wider. His business grew. His life got bigger. He put in less effort and created greater results. He gained more freedom. Dr. Hardy calls this the path to the Four Freedoms: time, money, relationships, and purpose.
In the book, they ask:
“Do you have Whos in your life that give you the perspectives, resources, and ability to go beyond what you could do alone? Or are you keeping your goals so small just to make them easier to accomplish on your own?”
That last part always stops me.
Are you keeping your goals small so you can achieve them solo?
Because when we go beyond ourselves, our potential and our impact expand.
In our Motives Met experiences and workshops, when we guide participants on meeting motives, we invite them to look through the who lens:
Who can help you spark INNOVATION faster by learning from them?
Who can expand your PURPOSE with greater impact?
Who can fuel your GROWTH as a mentor?
If you’ve taken our Motives Met Human Needs Assessment to uncover the top human motives driving your well-being and success, think about who can help support your own top motives?
With 2026 around the corner, as you reflect on where you want to go in the new year, where you want your team or organization to go, it’s the perfect time to think about your Whos.
Who can help me get there faster, better, and lighter?
Because sometimes, your next breakthrough doesn’t come from more effort.
It comes from finding the right collaborator, coach, or catalyst.
Share this with someone who could be your next who.