3 Ways to Share Genuine Gratitude with Your Team
A week out from Thanksgiving, and the holiday hustle is officially in full swing. In my book “Work Life Well-Lived” I share how the values we cherish outside of work like gratitude, compassion, and kindness are less likely to make as strong of an appearance at work underneath our “work armor” as Brene Brown calls it, and our busy work schedules. We are more likely to express our thanks to those around our Thanksgiving table than to the people many of us spend more time with than our friends or family.
While we have a lot of grateful thoughts about the people in our lives, we don’t vocalize it as much as we think it. A roadblock to appreciation is what psychologists call “the illusion of transparency,” we tend to assume people can read our minds, that we know that we value them and appreciate this or that, but they don’t know because appreciation is a gift that needs words. So here is your inspiration, take a moment this week to give some genuine thanks to the people who lift you up at work—your mentors, your teammates, and especially, your employees. We have three meaningful ways to help you below.
By the way, if you have been hanging out with us at Motives Met for awhile you know we conducted research for years to get to the heart of what thriving at work is all about and we uncovered the 28 human needs that drive us to be well and perform well at work. Appreciation is part of those vital motives, you can learn more about that here.
Let’s dive into three simple ways to spread some thanks this week at work.
1.The 2024 “One Thing” Email
Send a gratitude email this week! Conversations are great too but this is super simple and goes a long way. Tell people the one main thing that stands out from working with them in 2024 that you are grateful for. Not that they are good at their job. Or work hard. But express how they impacted you as a person. Here’s my challenge to you, focus on how they make you feel, who they are, how you personally benefited from their contributions. Did they take things off your plate so you could focus on your big goals? Do they bring an uplifting or calming energy to the team? Did they make you feel like they had their back? Did they advocate for you or take precious time to teach you something important? Share that! If you want more inspiration check out this article that dives deeper into appreciation and significance at work.
By the way, at Motives Met we pride ourselves on taking a realistic approach. We aren’t going to love everyone. We may struggle in some work relationships. But this week is about choosing to focus on the good.
2. Ask Then Listen
Sometimes, showing appreciation isn’t about what you say – it’s about the questions you ask and the time you take to listen. What’s one thing I could do to help you reach your goals in 2025? How can I better support you on our team? What would you like more (or less) of in our work together? How do you like to be recognized or appreciated? Ask about their growth, their fulfillment, and well-being. And if you want to take it up a notch, here’s my shameless plug: gift them the Motives Met Human Needs Assessment™. It’ll help them dig into their unique well-being drivers and motivators, so you can skip the cookie-cutter questions and actually support what they care about.
3. Appreciation Replays
If you are a people manager or leader this is a meaningful team discussion you can lead next week. Take a page from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): encourage people to “replay” moments when they felt proud. Ask them, “What’s something you did this year that you feel proud of?” Letting them share with the team and then hear appreciation in return reinforces those positive feelings and strengthens their SELF-ESTEEM, which is another one of the 28 motives. It’s a powerful way to create an atmosphere of appreciation!