So many of the beliefs that drive us are unconscious and invisible. Whether it’s in your personal life or professional world, these “unconscious commitments” often end up taking precedence over your conscious ones—because we lack the self-awareness around them. We unconsciously commit to comfort over courage, to scarcity over abundance, to fear over innovation. Think of these unconscious commitments as silent contracts you’ve made with yourself, or your team has made with itself, ones you didn’t even know you signed. Below I’ve included an awesome team exercise “Creating Collective Conscious Commitments” that you are welcome to steal! This exercise is woven into our Motives Met experiences and workshops with clients and creates a meaningful impact.
The real danger of unconscious commitments is that they operate under the radar, influencing your actions and interactions and ultimately your outcomes, in ways that undermine your conscious goals.
On a personal level…
Consciously, you may be committed to setting boundaries to protect your work-life harmony, but unconsciously you are committed to saying yes to everything to prove your worth.
Consciously, you may be committed to achieving a big longer-term goal, but unconsciously you are committed to prioritizing short-term wins with an immediate reward.
As a leader…
Consciously, you may be committed to empowering employees with autonomy, but unconsciously you are committed to rescuing them when they face challenges, stepping in to solve problems before they have a chance to handle them on their own.
Consciously, you may be committed to creating an inclusive diverse culture, but unconsciously you are committed to seeking agreement from those who share your views or background, unintentionally reinforcing a culture of sameness.
As a team…
Consciously, your team may be committed to creating an open honest environment, but unconsciously your team is committed to feeling comfy and avoiding difficult conversations.
Consciously, your team may be committed to achieving a greater purpose with more impactful work, but unconsciously your team is committed to “busyness” – the more tasks you’re juggling, the more valuable you are.
Breaking Free from Unconscious Commitments
First, let’s start by focusing on you and then we’ll shift into the exercise you can do with your team.
Changing Your Commitments
1. Get Honest with Yourself
Breaking free from these unconscious commitments means you have to become aware of them. This requires reflection and, yes, some discomfort. Time for some truth-telling: Where in your professional life are you not getting the results you want? Whether it’s for yourself or within your team. As you may know, if you have been hanging out with us for a while at Motives Met, we identified the 28 human needs, or motives, that are the foundation for thriving at work. Take a look at these different motives like FUTURE SUCCESS, PURPOSE, BELONGING, APPRECIATION, and CHALLENGE, to get your idea juices flowing. Where are things lacking or downright drowning?
2. Get Feedback So You Can Be Even MORE Honest with Yourself
Seek feedback from work peers or those you lead on weak areas you may have. Where do they sense you struggle? Which motive areas do they believe are suffering on your team? Sometimes, the blind spots that others observe can help you pinpoint the unconscious behaviors that might be hindering progress.
3. Spot the Unconscious Saboteurs
Looking at the weak areas — what are the thought patterns and beliefs that clash with your desired outcomes? These are your unconscious commitments that are sabotaging your conscious efforts. Once you start identifying these patterns, you can begin to dismantle them and make room for new, intentional commitments that truly align with the outcomes you’re after.
4. Shift Your Focus & Identify Actions
Now that you’ve exposed those hidden commitments, here’s the big question: What would be possible if these unconscious commitments weren’t holding you back? Use this as inspiration to embrace a new way forward. Write out a new commitment that actually aligns with the results you’re after. If you lived by that new commitment, what would you start doing and what would you stop doing? Outlining specific actions you want to take (or not take!) will help you stay accountable and create real change. It’s not just about having a vision—it’s about taking those small, deliberate steps that will move you closer to your goals. With each decision, ask yourself: Is this supporting my new commitment or pulling me back into the old one? This clarity will guide you toward a bigger transformation.
Changing Your Team’s Commitments
Maintaining a thriving team culture that nurtures all 28 human motives is no small feat, but the payoff is absolutely worth it. Our research shows when these core needs are met, team members experience greater well-being, deeper connection, and higher levels of engagement and performance. After teams complete our Motives Met Human Needs Assessment™, we often follow up with workshops focused on elevating these essential human needs. We explore questions like: How can we foster more innovation while maintaining a sense of security? How can we strengthen connection and cultivate a truly inclusive culture? How can we achieve our ambitious goals while still maintaining healthy work-life harmony?
One of the significant culprits to making all of this happen can be the collective unconscious commitments of the group. Do this activity with your team to change your commitments together.
Collective Conscious Commitments Exercise
Setup:
Explain the purpose of this activity with your team. You want to create a team culture where everyone can be well and perform well at work. This exercise is designed to help identify the conscious commitments we can make as a group to foster a healthier, more productive, and supportive work environment.
Instructions:
- Small Group Brainstorm
Break your larger team into smaller groups of appx. 3 people. If you are a smaller team then you can do this portion together. Have each group select 5 motive areas like ACHIEVEMENT, GROWTH, APPRECIATION, FAIRNESS, or AUTONOMY, out of the 28 they feel are the weakest on the team.
- For each motive, write down any unconscious commitments, any thoughts or beliefs, that are an obstacle to that motive being met.
- Once all the unconscious commitments have been identified craft a conscious commitment statement that you want the team to live by instead.
- Next to each conscious commitment statement, write down the actions (or inactions!) that would or could manifest if the team lived by that commitment.
For example:
FREE EXPRESSION Motive
Unconscious commitment: As a team, we unconsciously commit to avoiding direct honest feedback and communicating pain points because we don’t want to feel bad, or to have others feel bad, and fear creating tension.
Conscious commitment: We will commit to being compassionate truth-tellers, recognizing that discomfort is a natural and necessary part of work relationships and better performance.
Potential actions:
- Feedback debrief after each project: What did each team member do well and what do they need to improve on?
- Feedback Training: Investing in training to learn how to give and receive feedback in a compassionate, effective way.
- No gossip: Rather than discuss frustrations or concerns behind someone’s back, team members address issues directly with the person involved always!
- Space for sharing: Adding the space for “difficult topics” in a monthly team meeting where each person has the opportunity to share something that may be hard to express.
2. Refining Your Collective Commitments
Bring the full team back together and have each subgroup share. Select, combine, or refine statements until the group has agreed to a good handful of collective commitments that will make a meaningful impact that all members believe they can and should uphold.
3. Keeping Your Commitments Alive
Set aside time each month to check in on your commitments. Make it easy by adding this check-in to a weekly team meeting for example you do once a month. This doesn’t have to be a lengthy process, but it’s important to create space for reflection and accountability. Consider rotating ownership of these check-ins among team members so that everyone feels engaged in maintaining the collective commitments. This will help foster a shared sense of responsibility and ownership of the team’s culture. Additionally, take the opportunity to celebrate the successes and progress made in upholding these commitments.
Ask team members which commitments are going strong and which ones may have fallen to the wayside. Use this time to make any necessary adjustments or to re-energize the commitments that have lost momentum.